Beller Swains Diary 1

Dear Diary,
Today was my first day at my new school in Forks. Everyone was looking at me, I know that they were saying I was Fat! I have to stop eating lunch or that new guy Edwardy or whatever wont talk to me.
I saw him for the first time, and I almost fell out of my chair, so tall and rough, yet chiseled, I think I jizzed in my pants ! But in biology class, he was all weird. I KNEW i forgot to put on deodorant this morning! I think I should consider talking a shower every night, or people might think I'm dirty.
Well I have to finish my homework diary, I can't figure out this math problem! 4 x 6! What is it?
Well good night Diary!